On forgiveness...

Okay so I’m not a religious person. Spiritual? Yes. But, as far as committing to a specific religion… I’m more of an eclectic. However, the current deal is that I’m doing a year of service through a Catholic organization and I’m living with Catholic roommates. So, in the spirit of community I have decided that it would be best if I partake in the Catholic mass every Sunday…

The readings from today’s mass, I thought, were particularly appropriate for today- forgiveness. Now, there are those who might think that I’m a royal bitch for writing this. And then there are those of you who might sympathize with me. And still those who just won’t give a damn. But, I felt like on today, Sep. 11, 2011, ten years after the attack on the world trade center, that forgiveness is just what we need to be reminded of. It’s so easy to blame others for our pain. It’s easy to say that what terrorists have done to this country is “unforgivable”. However, I feel as though scripture asks us to forgive those men who hijacked the planes.

I don’t want to appear insensitive to those who have suffered as a result of the attack. I too am touched and will never forget that day, nor the men and women who died.

However, I still believe that only through forgiveness might our nation fully heal. Often times this forgiveness has to start at home. How can we forgive our enemies if we cannot even forgive our friends?

Also, I’ve realized over the past 7 months that forgiveness is not something that you do and then move on. It is a constant action. If someone hurts you, like hurts you deeply, you have to forgive them in your mind and in your heart every day. You have to work at it. And the hardest thing to do is to feel forgiveness. Not just think it and say it and act it, but feel it. To feel reconciled. To feel healed. To feel whole again.

I feel as though when people think of forgiveness they mistakenly think only in terms of releasing someone from their transgressions. Forgiveness when came to whole heartedly releases not only the transgressor, but also the forgiving party- freeing them from their own anger, hate, and despair.

So, today in church… I prayed. I’m not a big prayer. I’m not a religious person. But, I prayed that we all may forgive and be forgiven.